Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Ups and Downs

You know when you want designer jeans, and you're mom takes you to Value Village? Well, I think that my life is like that. I take every little thing way too seriously. Exhibit A recently called me an "inconsiderate bitch" out of rage. Not to sound naive, but he never has before, and he keeps apologizing. In all fairness, I just learned tonight what exactly he meant by that; and it makes sense. So, since that fight when he bursted out the insult, I have been terrified to act around him. No matter what little thing I say or do, I think it's going to be selfish or "inconsiderate". We went to Tim Hortons a while ago, and he took me to a puny one in a gas station (Value Village), when there was a perfectly decent actual store... across the street! (Designer)
So I didn't say anything, because I was truly afraid :S Not like he was going to beat me, but I was worried if I asked for a simple drive across the street, it would be too much.
It took a silent car ride and some ignoring for me to actually confront him about it.
Only time will tell if I will be able to stop living in fear. Over friggin Tim Hortons...
Really eh?


Ugh. So. What better way to let some feelings out by watching one of my favorite shows, One Tree Hill :)
Here is my favorite episode:

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

If only you could see what I see


"Do you let the world around you be the window you see through" - Imaginary Cities

Exhibit A jokes when insecure. I love that about him. He sometimes covers up his real self; he shouldn't. 
But don't we all?
Sometimes I think he will never be comfortable. He calls it his "anxiety", I call it fear.
We all have a fear of being liked, but at some point you need to trust yourself. I wish he knew how the little flaws in him are special, and don't go unappreciated by me.

Tonight he said "I miss you every moment you're not here"

- baby, you light up my world like nobody else

Fav songs right now

 

Don't count the miles




I’m scared today, more than I told you I was yesterday, give me a moment to catch my breath, and hold me every second left. Proud of me, that’s the only way I want you to be, look at me and love what you see. 




I won’t make it alone, I need something to hold.




Kiss me on my shoulder, and tell me it’s not over, I promise to always come home to you, remind me that I’m older to be brave, smart, sweet, and bolder, and don’t give up on what we’re trying to do, don’t count the miles, count the “I love you”s. 

Oh, Mumford


I am completely in love with Marcus Mumford, and Mumford & Songs.
There is just something about his voice, and their sound that gives me shivers up and down.
(that sort of rhymed! hehe)
I recently did a project on them and a few of their latest songs, and learned a lot. Its funny because their songs are mostly religious inspired, and I am not religious at all. However, I went to Catholic schools growing up. Ironic eh?
I feel so emotional when I listen to their music. Its crazy, really. Lots of artists have this affect on me, but not as much as they do lately. Even my dad like their style! I've noticed I usually blast them when I need life advice, or motivation.


Crazy, ironic, funny, but so in love.


Fun Fact: Sigh No More was originally written based on Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing".


i'm in LIKE with you


"You look just like you should look, and you talk just like you should talk" - The Beauties


This lyric reminds me of the guy i'm with right now. He will probably be mentioned in my future posts, and since I don't want to reveal his real name, we'll call him, "Exhibit A".
If he was any different, it wouldn't suit him. He should be no different then the way he was when I first met him. I can smirk, and laugh, and grunt all I want.. but I have to remember I fell for him for a reason.
In order to understand my relationship with him, you must understand my past relationship, and more about me. Ever heard the saying, "it's complicated"? Well, I swim in a sea of it.
But right now I am willing to bipass all the complications that have happened, or may happen in the future.. because I have someone who treats me like a gem. I don't deserve him.

I am totally, 100%, completely in like with Exhibit A.

This is my love as me



Hey all. This is my first blog so be kind. 

I come across so many beautiful things in the world. I realized I need a way of sharing them, along with my passions and my interests. So I'll start here.
The photo above was taken by me for photography class, and I love it. I think it could represent imperfection, due to the one bent petal. I don't know.. it's just iconic to me :)